That Feeling

Beneath my callused heart you will find love.

I understand love...

If you lost the ability to speak, how would I ever know you loved me?

Love does not start once the overwhelming words "I Love You" are uttered.

Love starts the moment something inside you is triggered and grabs hold of you...

It starts the moment you feel "that feeling"...I hate the term "butterflies" so we will call it "that feeling".

Love is a snowball of experiences...

But it starts small with " that feeling".

Whether is is someones hand in yours, 

The way he or she smiles at you,

Or the way you laugh at the same stupid things...

This is love in its simples form. 

You start loving that person that moment...

You just won't say it till the experiences that love brings snowball enough and get to be too big, And then your love balloon bursts, 

And the words " I love you" come rolling out, 

With the hope that the awkward silence will be a short one,

And that the feeling is mutual.

But even if the words are exchanged, 

It still doesn't change the fact that in a weird way you have only been semi truthful,

Or partially lying up until that moment.

All of the "I like you a lot" moments were really "I love yous" in disguise.

You were just scared to be the first to say it.

It is a fear of the greatest gift,

And the most vulnerable state a person can be in.

Love is the best and worst thing in life.

People have died looking for it,

Died because of it,

Or died wondering why it never came their way.

It is a gamble...

It can make you feel the greatest you will ever feel,

Like a drug that you want at all times.

And just like a drug it can destroy you,

And leave you feeling like you can't complete a full breath...

Helpless and destroyed.

Don't get me wrong,

I am an addict...

I love love,

And will play it's game.

If you never play your hand,

You will never have a chance.

There is no greater gift that someone can give you.

That feeling of knowing that when your heart bleeds the one you are with is also bleeding...

That is something greater than any material thing that can be given.

Too many let go of that special feeling for other things in life,

When love is the realest thing you can have...

It is taken for granted too often.

There are too many moments of uncertainty brought on by many things that don't matter in the end, 

And that cloud our judgement and complicate love.

Don't let finances, friends, or family dictate your love...

 It is yours,

And no one besides the one you love can take that from you.

It finds you at the strangest moments, 

And starts with "that feeling"...

Not "butterflies"...

I hate that term.

We should all be lucky enough to experience "that feeling" even once...

And maybe have it turn into a lifelong adventure of moments filled with "that feeling".

I want that...

And I will die trying to find it. 

I love love!

I just hope it doesn't destroy me...