I am going to personally attack myself today... Lets strip all of the brand name bullshit off of me and get to the core... hopefully it isn't rotten ;)
I am a somewhat vein person... I love mirrors and the appearance of myself. Not always... but some of the time. I do occasionally catch myself smiling at myself, telling myself how good it is to be me :)
I am compulsive... I am a bargain shopper but overspend. I get a rush out of spending money in large amounts... maybe that is why I shy away from any type of gambling... Or it could have to do with my experiences growing up ( I did a majority of growing up in Vegas... My father would pick me up from school and let me run wild in the casino that he was an exec at... I witnessed many angry people losing their retirement and/or college savings for their kids to go to a great university... thank god for community college and financial aid)
I would rather ignore someone completely than lie to them. Call it cowardly, but like I said, I am on personal attack mode right now. This problem has gotten me into many binds... it is one of my least favorite... Hurting people is a terrible business to be in. I may come off as an ass... but I really do care.
I fall for girls who are a little rough around the edges. I like a girl who is confident, very sexy, a little jealous, can stand up on her own two and throw down, and who are a semi hard to tame. There is something truly sexy about that to me... sorry all you nice girls out there... I am not a girl next door kind of guy. I like a little work and a bit of a chase... what fun is a lay down any ways... I mean as in no fight... the other lay down.. not so bad...lol.
I tend to be easily distracted by new and interesting things... to the point where I lose focus of what really matters... actually... well... to others, and what the public has taught us matters. Things like work.... and doing all of the normal people things... I have ADD in life. All the way around! Either way, I am not good at staying focused at times... I am getting a lot better now. It is almost 2am and I have to be up at 630am to go to work... See, truly responsible.
I am going to end up looking like a bushman, like one from the GOD's must be crazy, writing my blogs with a piece of chalk on the corner of Hennepin and 5th because I don't stay focused at times. So skinny that you can use me in anatomy class as a live model..."look class how you can see his heart beating through his back!"
I have a problem with holding things in for too long... It may come off as patient at times... this may be 50 percent true. But, I think that if it weren't for writing, and frequent trips to the gym, that I would have been in jail for running over each and every waste of a life that irritates me and gives me VD in my ears from all of the useless shit they have to say.
I am a violent drunk... I cannot judge how much I have had to drink at times and go beyond remembering... you know... Black Out! I have been told that I get into fights and run my mouth and am very mean to the point where I verbally piss on people in public. This is a terrible thing to hear... but it is me.
I forgive people over and over again in hopes that they will change. I inherited this defect from my father. He might as well have spoon fed me this trait... It has caused me much heart ache in my life...but it is me.
I am tired now... this NyQuil is beating my eyes up... I probably look like someone rubbed their unwashed, shit covered hands across my face and gave me pink eye! Either way... I cant think any more... I will attack myself on a different day.
Captains Log...blah blah blah... still need to see that movie. Fuck you! So what it if I am a Trekkie... I hope that is spelled right... Time for bed... Bros before Ho's.... and Ya...
NYQUIL!
son of a prostitute...
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