The Admin

Wow... I guess I don't know where to start... How about a description. I am a senior consultant for a financial company. I have a big office with an "L" shaped desk... that is an extension of my penis, and makes me feel like the God damn president!... Kiss my ass... it beats a cubicle.  Outside of the double doors of my office sit two administrative assistants whose only jobs in life are to ask 4-5 basic pre-qualifying questions and to press the transfer button on the phone...oh and to occasionally make coffee... sounds simple right?! For one of them it is. For the other, it is like teaching an armless man how to jerk himself off! I have never come across someone who lacked the amount of common sense that this simple twit does. I have nothing against blondes, but she does the stereotype justice. The bleach or "sun in" must have shrunk her brain or killed off the "common sense" lobe. 

I am typically a patient person... But I actually think the world could use  1 more aerosol can to deplete the ozone layer, rather than have this waste of flesh and fresh air grazing the earth, and using up the natural resources that I could be using. 

Maybe one day she will realize that she is a fucking idiot and that it shouldn't take 90+ days to learn how to properly ask 5 basic questions, enter basic contact info, and transfer the call. The girl probably needs a diagram on how to wipe her ass in the proper direction... You wipe away from your Va J J you dumb bastardo!!!! We don't need you getting any Hoo Hoo infections... or maybe that isn't such a bad thing :) (praying to myself" please god... whomever you are... take the ability of this mental midget to reproduce away... one defective human is enough for us!" Amen... Allah... Buddah... whatever!")

It doesn't add up... she came from a bank where she had great numbers....(puzzled look) 

I have a story for you... I remember an instance when she first started... I should have known...

My manager and I invited some friends out to go and Salsa. My manager invited the fucktard since we had 5 people at the time and she would make an even 6. I know I called her a fucktard... she was still normal at that time... I didn't know she was a degenerate till this night. She agreed to come out and be my dancing partner... this made sense since we are both very tall and could move together easily. The freak didn't show up... she flaked so much she needed Selsun Blue. Her reason for her " no call, no show" was that she was sexually attracted to me, and that it would be like cheating on her boyfriend of 27 days. She said it wasn't right and stated to the both of us, and I quote " I am dating for marriage." 

Wow... It's not like I asked her to role play with me. " Hey you lobotomy patient, want to play Oval Office with me at my "L" shaped desk... you can be Monica and I can be Bill... don't worry, it's plush carpet!" I had to bring my desk up again... I love this big ass desk!

What an absolute waste of reproductive capabilities she is!!!

Boys and Girls...Boys and Catholic Priests....Ladies and Gentlemen,

The moral of the story is if you are such an inbred moron that the mere thought of figuring out how to properly use a condom baffles you, than you have no fucking business procreating. It only leads to us enlightened and educated folk to being pushed towards insanity and possibly plowing you with our motor vehicles. Or in my case blogging about the son of a bitch retard monster you created. 

I swear... her voice is as pleasant as listening to my own bowel movements... Oh!!!! LIGHTBULB!!!! I can debark her like the people do with dogs!!! 

Yay!!! Now I just need to find a metal rod to shove down her throat!!! Probably not the first time someone has tested her gag reflex!....

I am such an asshole.... but she deserved it... I feel better. Until next time "champagne wishes and caviar dreams!" I really don't know what the hell that has to do with anything... just felt like saying it ;)