Karaoke

My Iddy Biddy little sister turned 18 today. In order to fully understand the type of person she is might take 300 pages... The complexity of her evidently warped, slightly morbid sense of humor seems to be rooted as far back as my 4'11" , " I am a stroke patient!" grandmother.

 

Grandmother doesn't know the racy ramblings that roll off of her tongue till she sees the ghostly faces of the strangers in disbelief, and her grandchildren on the side visibly dying from laughter. I have been witness on numerous occasions of her bashing of every race, shape & religion... including her own since " the stroke". She once complained to an elderly woman sitting to the right of her about how she can't walk any more, and how she is too old. She actually uttered the words " crippled" at one point. Grandmother had failed to notice that the elderly woman was not sitting in a chair next to her.....it was a wheelchair!!! And she had obviously been there long enough, that I believe a hole was cut in order for her to release "the goods". My sister appreciated this situation, as did I.  

The apple does not fall far from the tree... 

My mother, with her genuine smile, and slightly smaller eyes that are warm, but can see to the shitty core of people,  is a little strange as well. I always wondered why others misfortune, whether brought on by the individual ( for example... morbidly obese people) , or by outside forces, made her laugh.  

We sat with my mothers older sister aka Aunty Jules, at my sisters varsity lacrosse game. Up walks a young man, about 6'3" with a stocky and slightly pudgy frame... He wore a tight red shirt with short sleeves. They matched what looked to be biker shorts that could have fit a five year old Ethiopian, on a Sally Struthers adopt-a-child infomercial. And as if her were being announced at the starting line up of an NBA game, my eyes took focus on this man. Probably only 16 years of age, but the size of a man... And all of a sudden I noticed that he was special. Not like "you have a special heart" special.... more like "Dee Dee Dee" special...Then right on que the words " the ringer" spilled out of my mothers, what I thought was innocent mouth. The look on my face was one of a person sitting in a stall in a public restroom, next to a person who seems like they are squeezing a five year old out of their ass. you know....one of those  "nail grinding and scraping the stall walls" shits. My hand immediately went to cover her fowl mouth... the exact way she would with me right before grabbing a bar of slightly used uvory soap for me to dine one. 

God bless this woman and the one who made her. For without these two, my sister and I would be as fun as watching reruns of old people line dancing on the cable access channels... yay for sitting around and watching paint dry...

And now we get to my lovely and only sister.

She looked like a China doll as a child. Little did I know that behind her beautiful sparkling smile was a person so twisted, morbid, and warped, you swear she was a piece of plastic that sat in a microwave, and shaped that China doll in to the thing I call Alexis. I would have it no other way. She is who she is and everyone loves it. I embrace it for she is a lot like myself...but she is better. She is as crazy as me, as creative, and as comfortable being who she is, and has only just begun to find herself. I am old technology and she is the new improved version. She is also known as the Michaelangelo of photoshop. I have fallen victim to her right click, cropping, pasting, and blur tool every birthday and Christmas... She is a genius. No one has ever mad my face look so perfect on a gorilla man in a bikini, wearing a flava flav chain, with a crucifix dangling from it, that looked as if it had been stolen from the top of the Vatican. I love each and every one, and would only be lucky enough to have fifty more. Even though her halo is held up by horns she will always have a spot in the heaven of my heart. She is such a large part of why every day is so special. I wrote to her in a way today that I have never done before. it took me more than one emotional, windshield wipe of my face, something got in my eye moments to finish writing the card. I hope she always stays the same crazy ass, japanese pop band loving, streaked hair, bass playing, cruelty to animals caring, I'd rather wear jeans that a skirt girl for the rest of her life. I love her for all that she is... my little elli belly, My sister.

setting: I wrote this on the night of my sisters birthday at a Korean Karaoke bar that my sister and her friends were celebrating at.... it was actually a 2 level/ Korean restaurant on the bottom, Hair salon/ Karaoke bar on the second floor.... it smelled like bulgogi, aqua net, and stank breath from all of the singing that was going on.... lovely!